When “Stop” is the Right Choice

A few weeks ago, I learned something new about limits.

We all have them.

Doh, right? But we’re also prodded to push through them. People say things like, “You’re stronger than you think you are.” While that is true, it’s also just as true that everyone has a breaking point.

We don’t like to confess that. It sounds like we’re admitting to a weakness.

In a way, statistics back that up. When your mind says you’re totally tapped out, you’re really only 40 percent done. You still have 60 percent left in your tank. You can thank the Navy SEALS for that painful truth—which businesses, entrepreneurs, and self-help gurus now embrace as “the 40% Rule.”

But let’s face it. We DO have limits. We’re human.

When Jonathan was exhausted from fighting the Philistines, he ate a bit of honey and gained strength from it. Little did he know that his father, King Saul, had made all Israelites swear an oath to not eat anything until the Philistines had been defeated in that major battle. Jonathan could have died by his father’s hand for the infraction. (1 Samuel 14:24-49)

In some ways, I was in the same spot a few weeks ago. Since April I had been working on an ultra-stressful project made harder by an over-the-top client. I was also facing three scary, major dental “procedures” (technically not surgeries).

My sleep deteriorated. I had trouble concentrating on work. Despite doing everything “right,” I was called on the carpet repeatedly with the customer’s ever-changing directions. I was in a tough spot. This was my customer’s customer, so I had two sets of people to please. And God.

Nine days before the second (and longest) of my three “procedures,” I realized my immune system was tanking. I was in danger of coming out of remission from Lyme disease. At a critical juncture in the project’s development, I asked my customer to release me from it. I’ve worked with that customer for 2.5 years and knew I risked losing all future work from a wonderful company that just happened to have taken on a very challenging client.

I made the right decision, but my future with my customer remains a question mark. I pray we will continue to work together.

You hear of caregivers taking care of everyone except themselves. In this case, I had to be my own caregiver and say, “I can’t do this. I need to take care of myself.”

In life and work, we often give up too soon. God often has something wonderful for us around the corner if we persevere. But we also need to heed His voice when He says stop.

Four takeaways

Remember God says all His plans for us are good.
And His word is final. No forty percent rule applies when God says “stop.”

Christians can lay undue burdens of guilt on themselves about “pushing through.”
They go off on their own power like “see what I can do” when they should pause and ask, “God, what do you want me to do?”
God may surprise you by saying, “You showed me what you can do. Now let me show you what I can do.”
If you feel God is asking you to stop something, pray about it and ask Him for confirmation. He can handle it. (Gideon asked for two confirmations before he had peace that God really would deliver on His promises.)

Denying oneself (see Matthew 16:24) can, at times, mean putting other people’s needs before your own—but it never means putting God in line behind them.

Sometimes there is no “best” answer—only a better one.
Give yourself grace while you ask God for discernment in all your tough choices.

Have you been in this kind of situation? Share your experience in the comments!

Father, our hard times should prompt us to lean into You, but we can default to distancing ourselves instead. We’re afraid something worse will happen than what we’re already dealing with. Please replace that flinch reflex with a holy expectation of what You’re doing behind the scenes on our behalf. Show Yourself strong in our weakness so we may continue to serve you faithfully. Amen.

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